I’ll admit – I have a very weak stomach and cannot tolerate watching zombie shows and movies. From their slow, slithering ways to their rotting flesh, zombies are a bit more than I can handle. Add to this their mindless, instinct-driven desire to consume copious amounts of human flesh, and I basically run when anything zombie is on television. I cannot even bring myself to watch The Walking Dead, (from what I hear) a fantastic show depicted the troubled times of the last humans trying to survive a zombie apocalypse.
But today I started thinking about it. What if that actually happened? Instead of going through how terrible things would be if that occurred, I decided to actually take a moment and think of the highlights of an event such as this.
1. Disintegration of government on multiple levels – If you’re not a fan of the bureaucracy of government these days (and who is), maybe a zombie apocalypse isn’t such a bad thing after all. I just spent two hours today at the Division of Motor Vehicles getting my truck inspected. After interacting with the employees there, I can tell you that if there were ever to be a zombie apocalypse, it would most definitely start in government somewhere.
2. Bad Neighbors? Eat them! Imagine this – your neighbor is always in your business. He causes trouble, trespasses on your property and tries to pick fights with you on a weekly basis. Bam! The zombie apocalypse begins. If you turn, the last thought you’ll have about your neighbor is how good he’ll taste while you’re chewing his flesh. Not a bad motivator right there.
3. No more debt – I love this one. Think about it – while zombies are marching along the face of the earth devouring any and all living flesh in sight, I doubt Capital One will be trying to get you to make your credit card payment that month. It’s the end of any and all debt.
4. Free food! With all those helpless humans running around screaming, you’ll never have to worry about buying food again. Just grab one and start chewing! However, if you decide to try to stay human, good luck trying to find a grocery store that’ll have fresh food, or a place to prepare and cook the food without endless zombies running toward you once the smell tips them off. Yeah… zombie’s definitely the way to go with this one.
5. Stabilization of the world’s population – I love this one! So many people are genuinely concerned about the fate of the earth with her population booming more than ever before. While it’s true that most if not all of the humans would eventually become zombies and thus, still take up place on the earth, procreation would come to an end. At some point no new humans would be born. And since they wouldn’t be using fossil fuels, they’d be contributing to reducing our carbon footprint!
While I once thought a zombie apocalypse would be horrible, I can see that it actually wouldn’t be so terrible at all! Feel like adding to the list? Do so below!