Bon Temps is one of those towns where you a) should feel grateful you don’t live there and b) wonder why anyone else does.   We’re nearing the end of this season of True Blood.  In just a few weeks’ time, we’ll have an idea of how the vampires are going to stop Antonia, what repercussions Jessica and Jason will suffer for their “extracurricular activity” in the back of Jason’s pick up, whether or not Sookie’s dreams will come true, and more.  In the meantime though, let’s focus on what you might’ve missed if you failed to watch it last night.

Sookie survives being shot in the stomach with a wooden bullet (predictable, I know). Bill’s blood did the trick, and while Alcide and Bill are both hovering over her she demands to know where Eric is.  Alcide has had enough, and he walks out.  Bill promises to go find him.

Then Sookie has a most interesting dream… she begins to fantasize about both Eric and Bill, telling each that she loves them and wants to have them together.  Aside from being a totally hot, sexy scene, there’s a bit of a revealing here – Sookie is in love with the two leading vampires in her life.  Decisions, decisions…

The witches regroup at Moongoddess Emporium.  Antonia informs all who are present that she has special plans for the vampires during their “Festival of Tolerance,” but Tara and the rest of the girls want out.  Roy decides to stay – of course he does – what guy doesn’t want to see vampire guts explode all over the place?  The others try to leave but Antonia holds them hostage along with her new “pet,” Eric.

Meanwhile Jessica tries to find sympathy in Nan… yeah, that sounds like a bad idea to me, too.  Uncaring and not wanting to hear any of it, she tells Jessica that listening to her whining has cured her of the urge to ever become a Maker. Niiiiiice. Bill arrives and brings her up-to-date on the whole situation with Eric and the witches.  He tries to convince her to cancel the “Festival of Peace” but Nan refuses.

So imagine this – you’re Hoyt, and your super hot vampire girlfriend just dumped you.   So you decide that by making yourself feel better you’re going to get a box, fill it up with her stuff and mark it, “For you, Monster.”  Then maybe you’ll get drunk and pass out. OK – seems reasonable. But I would think you’d never expect to see a possessed Lafayette storm through your door with a gun and a baby (Arlene’s in fact) in hand, demanding you leave your own house!   Poor, poor Hoyt.

Andy’s too hopped up on V to be able to do anything except make the matter worse, and Jason can’t seem to get the job done.  So Arlene calls Jesus and asks him to help.  He arrives and enters the house.  After awhile Mavis warms up to him and reveals exactly what happened to her at the hands of her former lover.  She hasn’t left because there’s something she needs to do – she needs to hold her baby one last time.  Based on what Mavis told them, the boys start digging in the backyard and find her remains along with her baby’s.  They hand the swaddled, skeletal remains of her child to her, and she embraces him, singing a lullaby.  Just then, her spirit leaves Lafayette and disappears.  Wild!

Then Hoyt asks Jason to bring Jess’ belongings to her, since he’s his best friend and all.  While Jason does decline the offer to come into Bill’s house, that doesn’t stop him and Jessica from having sex in the bed of his pickup truck.  Jason!  Weren’t you just serially raped a few episodes ago?  Geesh!
Debbie knows that Alcide’s hanging out with Sookie and, falling into a depression, she goes back to using V.  She then approaches Sookie and tells her she genuinely wants to help her (I don’t care what you say, even with Sookie reading her thoughts I STILL don’t trust her). 

Anyway, they head off to the Emporium.  Debbie distracts Antonia while Sookie finds Eric.  She tries to get him to leave but to no avail; the spell is too strong.  Tara holds a gun to Sookie as an act and warns her telepathically that they’re being held against their will.  Sookie and Debbie escape and find their way to Shreveport to alert Bill that the plan is for Eric to kill him.  Just as she arrives, Eric is vamp-speeding toward Bill as Sookie screams to him, “RUN!”

Tommy transforms into Sam to handle an issue between him and the pack leader of the werewolves.  When he cracks some jokes about having his way with Luna, the boys beat him within an inch of his life.  While on the ground he transforms back into Tommy; Alcide steps in and protects him while carrying him away to safety.